Tom B. Stone: Slime Lake (Graveyard School #7)

That is an amazing pseudonym.

Scan_20170728 (3)
There is no recipe for a “slime sandwich” inside. There is a recipe for “slime lake guacamole.”

Slime Lake belongs to one of those series I think of as “Goosebumps clones”—you know, middle school “horror,” possibly created to capitalize on the success of Goosebumps (although for all I know, some other series predated Goosebumps).

The plot is very much “Scooby Doo with young kids and an actual monster”: Marc and his Continue reading “Tom B. Stone: Slime Lake (Graveyard School #7)”

Advertisements

Vicki Kamida: Never Love a Libra (Zodiac Chillers #5)

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. This book is so ridiculous, it kind of comes out the other side of ridiculousness and becomes great.

Never Love a Libra: the book that doesn’t just jump the shark: it picks up the shark’s bloody corpse and heaves it straight at its ex-girlfriend.

Scan_20170728
The sticky notes represent my futile attempt to keep track of all the times someone was a horrible friend or just an outright idiot.

This whole series is zodiac-themed, so I was braced for some astrology, but holy crap: Continue reading “Vicki Kamida: Never Love a Libra (Zodiac Chillers #5)”

Richard Lee Byers: Warlock Games (Nightmare Club #3)

It took me about five chapters to make up my mind whether I was enjoying this or not. It’s not that the beginning was particularly slow, either; it’s just that it didn’t slot into any of the regular YA-horror categories, and it took me a while to settle in to it.

warlock games

Mark McIntyre’s been sent to Hudson Military Academy while his parents are in Paraguay because of his father’s job. He shows up at the Night Owl Club, popularly known as the Nightmare Club.

The Nightmare Club and its owners (Mr. Demos and his daughter Jenny) showed up in Joy Ride, but just to recap, it’s a teen club located in an old building in the woods. The building was at one point an orphanage, but that burned down (with the orphans inside) and now it’s rumoured to be haunted.

Mark has no friends at the military academy and he’s the only junior. He meets a couple of girls who attend the local high school, Cooper High, and he’s starting to like Laurie Frank when her brother shows up and punches him. Two other Cooper High guys come over to join the fight, and just as Mark’s thinking he’s doomed, two Hudson guys show up to back him up. They get thrown out for fighting, but now he has friends. Yay?

Just so you know going in, this book is entirely about groups of guys fighting, and later on they progress from vandalism through throwing bowling balls and then on up to shooting each other. Yeah.

Mark’s two new friends are Ken and creepy bossy guy Greg. Just from the back cover you already know Greg is a warlock, so: Greg is a warlock. He convinces Ken and Mark, and some other guys he recruits, to join a group called The Chessmen and each carry a chess piece at all times. Possibly I’ve just read too many novels, but the SECOND anyone proposed that I would assume they were evil and trying to control me via a chess piece.

But no, they all join up and start making trips to vandalize Cooper High School. The equivalent group of Cooper High guys vandalize them right the hell back.

In between rounds of this Mark’s still seeing Laurie, who tells him her brother Barry is obsessed with Hudson Military Academy guys because 1) Barry liked a girl named Traci, who 2) dated a Hudson boy named Wes, and then 3) they both disappeared.

The Cooper High Chessmen, who are being manipulated by an evil spirit, are convinced this means Wes murdered Traci. In fact, they keep having these meetings where they sit around vividly imagining/reliving her murder.

The coolest part of this book is when Laurie does a little research and discovers that Greg has been here before: a hundred years ago, when a rivalry between Hudson Academy and the orphanage led to the orphanage being burned down, and then a hundred years before that when war erupted between settlers and natives.

Greg is, as we know right from the back cover (and I actually hate how much I knew going in), a warlock involved in a “game” against an evil spirit.

All the actual power comes from the spirit, but just because it’s evil doesn’t mean it CHEATS or anything, so Greg’s actually won the last two rounds by having his chessmen kill the other side’s chessmen. But if he loses, his immortality will run out because…I don’t fully understand why. The spirit claims it needs to rest and recover and can’t be arsed keeping Greg alive once Greg loses, I think.

So it all comes down to actual combat in the woods, only Mark and Laurie have convinced Barry, and then his friends, to destroy their chess pieces and come see the place in the wood where Traci’s and Wes’ remains lie, both of them clearly having been killed by something else. So one side has disengaged, and they manage to hold off the Hudson guys and Mark fights Greg, and eventually Greg decays and everyone’s in hospital and the police are having to go with “mass hysteria” as their explanation.

In the end Mark’s parents show up to take him out of the military academy, but surprise! He tells them he wants to stay, because now he has friends.

 

Nicholas Adams: Mr. Popularity

The Horror High books are available on Kindle Unlimited, so I thought I should try them. Amazingly (to anyone who knows me), I started with book one. Yes! Finally! I have read the first book in a series FIRST.

mr popularity kindle
The Kindle cover is actually really good. Check out that tagline.

The book starts with a prologue. Brad Forester and “the creature” are in the forest. For a long while I thought he was imagining his beast-companion, but no: he owns a panther. It’s named Alice.

Anyway, they’re visiting “the sacred ground,” which is some girl’s grave. Continue reading “Nicholas Adams: Mr. Popularity”

Betsy Haynes: Little Pet Shop of Horrors

This is the third of Betsy Haynes’ Bone Chillers I’ve read (I’ve recapped Beware the Shopping Mall here), and I’m enjoying the series.

But. There’s something a little…different about this one.

little pet shop of horrors

You know how Amazon offers you that list of “people who bought this also bought” suggestions? Well, what it gave me for this book was so unexpected that at first I assumed it was a mistake.

Then I read the book, and I don’t think it was a mistake. I think this book has a following among readers who aren’t all here for the “children’s horror” aspect.

little pet shop horrors screencap 2
This is the book’s description on Amazon.

So I screencapped the “also bought” suggestions for your amusement, but it’s going behind a cut because the suggestions aren’t entirely safe for work.  (Also, there are spoilers beyond this point.)

Continue reading “Betsy Haynes: Little Pet Shop of Horrors”

R. L. Stine: Seniors #12

Finally: the last book in the series. graduation day

It’s also the best book in the series. I mean, I’ve been enjoying these, but this one is just LOADED. It has visions and corpses and vampires and everything else Stine could throw in there, plus the most homoerotic scene I’ve ever seen in a Fear Street novel.

Okay, it’s actually the ONLY homoerotic scene I remember reading in a Fear Street novel.

It’s also terrifically well-organized in a way that makes me think I might get more done if I learned to outline more thoroughly.

But anyway: ON WITH THE CORPSES.

Continue reading “R. L. Stine: Seniors #12”